9/28/06- Ups and Downs of Adoption

Well...I have to say this adoption process has been much more emotionally draining than I ever thought it would be. I didn't really enjoy being pregnant, so I thought this would be much easier and more fun...I was wrong!!! I could never have guessed how HARD it would be!!! At the beginning...the paper chase was a pain, but it was exciting, knowing that one day we would find out who our baby was. Waiting for our I171H seemed hard...we waited almost 6 weeks...waiting for our referral seemed hard...we only waited 2 weeks...waiting for the DNA test to be done and come back a match seemed hard...we only waited 5 weeks...waiting for our visit trip seemed hard...we only waited 6 weeks...the WORST waiting so far...began when we got home from our visit trip. We had been in the last court PGN for 4 weeks when we got home, so we didn't think it would be too much longer and I thought it wouldn't be a big deal to come home without our baby. I was SO wrong!!! It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do...leave her and not have ANY idea when I would be able to come back.

For at least 2 weeks after the visit trip, I was a mess...emotionally...mostly just very anxious and sad...I missed our baby girl. The third week seemed easier, but the next week was hard again. The UNKNOWN was so hard. If I had a date that I knew she would come home...I would have looked forward to that...the not knowing is what was killing me. PGN felt like a black hole...was our file lost??? would we be kicked out for a silly error after having been in so long??? Many other families are in and out of PGN for a LONG time and I was worried we were going to join the ranks of a longtimer in PGN. We were in PGN for over 8 weeks and I just kept hoping and praying we would be out soon!!!

September 28th was a day of PRAISING GOD!!! At about 9:30...I received a call from a great friend of mine that just moved to Oklahoma...she said she had a bad dream about me the night before and that I had been crying and wanted her to come over. She was worried so she called to make sure I was ok. We talked for a long time and I finally said "Maybe I was crying for a good reason and we will get the call we have been waiting for for weeks". Sure enough...I jumped in the shower after our call...had just gotten out and the phone rang...I didn't have time to answer it because I was late for a meeting, but I answered it anyway...and I'm SO glad I did!!!Our CALL came on Sept. 28th at 10:40 am. I don't remember much of the call except that I was wrapped in a towel...standing in the kitchen...doing the happy dance!!! I was SO EXCITED!!! I wrote down a few things...that I knew I would forget and then called Joe. We were so excited together...then I called my friend to tell her I knew why I was crying in her dream and it was a happy cry!!!

What an AMAZING day!!!! Such a huge RELIEF!!! What a glorious day!!! Our baby is coming home!!! After exiting PGN...she is legally ours!!! We are the proud parents of a BEAUTIFUL baby girl!!!!!